You Belong with Us
by damnmysterytome
Summary: Rick looked around the room and took count of everyone he could see. One by one, he counted in his head as his eyes fell on members of his family. Eleven people, not counting himself or the child in his arms, were in the room. Wait, that's not right, someone is missing. Rick looked around again and said each name aloud in his mind until he realized who was missing: Carol Peletier.


**Notes: ****Included my personal headcanon about Rick's decision to banish Carol in s4 and I needed to write out what would have happened had Rick gone after Carol, not Daryl.**

* * *

><p><em>Something's not right. <em>Rick looked around the room and took count of everyone he could see. One by one, he counted in his head as his eyes fell on members of his family. Eleven people, not counting himself or the child in his arms, were in the room. Wait, that's not right, someone is missing. Rick looked around again and said each name aloud in his mind until he realized who was missing: Carol Peletier. _Where the hell is she? _Rick thought to himself before he stood to his feet and waved his son over.

Carl Grimes stood to his feet and walked over to his father, taking his little sister from her arms. "Where are you going, Dad?" He asked.

Rick looked down at his son and smiled, thinking quick on his feet. "Can't really hold Judith and use the... bathroom, can I?" He asked. It was weird to call the _forest _the bathroom, but saying you had to use the forest was even weirder, least to Rick. Oh, how he missed modern plumbing. Carl made a face and walked away from his father, who was clearly amused at his sons reaction. He waited another moment before exiting the church they were in and heading outside.

It was pitch dark, he didn't know how he was going to find his way around without a light. Rick thought about where he was going to end up finding Carol and what would happen if he didn't end up finding her. He'd just gotten her back, he didn't...

Rick remembered that Daryl had mentioned they found a car a little bit up the road that Carol had taken an interest in and he turned around, jogging up the road to the left where Daryl said the car was.

Sure enough, as Rick got closer, he heard a car's engine rumbling quietly and he knew that it was Carol working on it. He'd remembered her talking about how her father had been a mechanic and she used to work on cars. He remembered, he knew it was Carol.

He waited until she shut the hood of the car to speak.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

Carol jumped and looked up at Rick Grimes, surprised that he was standing there. She didn't really know what she was doing. When she had checked the car out with Daryl, she had thought it was a sign that yes, she should go. It made sense, right? The car was just sitting there and it had gas and it could run with a little bit of work. She thought it was a sign that she no longer belonged with her family. And after she was able to slip out unnoticed, she thought that was even more of a sign. No one had stopped her, and no one had come for. Until Rick.

"I don't know." Carol mumbled, walking around the car.

Rick scoffed. "Come on, Carol. It's me." He said, quoting her just a little more than a week ago. Carol raised an eyebrow at his quoting of her, which he must have noticed in the moonlight. "Probably not the best quote…"

Carol let out a soft chuckle and glanced down at her feet. In all honesty, Carol had absolutely no idea what she was doing right now. Finding the car in somewhat good condition seemed to be like a sign, that she should go. That God himself was giving her the means to do so. But she didn't know if she could do it, could actually get in the car and drive away. Even if she didn't feel right, these people were the people that she loved, the people that she wanted to be with, to stay with. She really wanted the choice to be out of her hands, for once. Again.

"Whats going on, Carol?" Rick asked, looking at her as he walked closer. Rick leaned against the car and looked at her face, trying to read what she was thinking. Over the years, he had come to know the woman, even love the woman. The last month hadn't shaken that at all, no matter what anyone might think. No matter what Carol thought, or what he had even thought.

"I… I took finding the car as a sign." Carol said softly. Rick frowned and leaned a little forward.

"A sign?"

"That I shouldn't be here… That I… Should go." Rick almost laughed out loud at the idea that Carol should _go_ and that she shouldn't be here. He knew that tossing her out had really messed her up, he wished that he hadn't done it. If he had known, had realized that he was doing nothing more than tossing her out to the likes of Gareth at Terminus and the Governor and the guys that Daryl had been running with... When he was trapped in that boxcar, he thought a lot about Carol. What if she had already been at Terminus? What if they'd... He'd have to stop himself from thinking about it, repeatedly.

Rick frowned. "But I just… We just got you back." He said softly. Carol glanced up at Rick and sighed, leaning against the car next to him.

"I don't… I don't feel like I belong here… With everyone. That I deserve the… Sanctuary. I don't know those other people… I just don't feel like I belong." She shared.

Rick couldn't believe what he was hearing. "There ain't no one here that belongs more than you." He assured her. When Carol scoffed, he continued. "You've been saving all our asses since the CDC."

A smile formed on her face, which Rick quickly returned. He was happy to see the smile on her face, happy to cause it. He still couldn't believe that the little mousey woman he met ironing his clothes had saved a grenade in her purse. And he still couldn't believe that she had come this far. She wasn't the woman she used to be and it both scared him and made him happy. "Technically, it was your grenade." The woman reminded.

"That I forgot about until you pulled it out from your bag. If you hadn't pulled out that grenade, we would all be dead." Rick said. Carol stared out into the woods, she hadn't done anything spectacular, she didn't even know what had possessed her to pocket the grenade.

"I killed Karen and David." Carol argued. "You kicked me out of my home for it." He'd damaged Carol far more than he'd ever imagined he had, much more than he had intended to. Not that he had ever intended on damaging his friend, it was actually the last thing he had intended on doing. Even though he was sure that Carol understood why he had done it and she had seemed to forgive him, he need to make sure that Carol knew his true intentions.

Rick stopped for a moment and he sighed. "Do you know why I kicked you out?"

She looked up at him and raised an eyebrow. "Because I killed Karen and David." Carol stated.

Rick shook his head. "Because I thought if I didn't, Tyreese would kill you if he found out and no one would be able to protect you or stop him." He admitted. "Maybe it was a little bit of what you actually did, but I thought I was doing the right thing. I didn't think that you could have ended up running into the _Governor _or gone to _Terminus _or run into someone... I thought... I thought I was protecting you."

"You were. You did." Carol interrupted him, looking up at him. Though she had always been angry about his decision, she understood. Oh, she understood, but it didn't make it hurt any less that he'd thrown her out. She sighed and shook her head. "Tyreese… I think he would have… Killed me. Had he found out when it happened. When his anger was fresh." She admitted.

"But he didn't." Rick stated, frowning. "Obviously." Carol thought back to when she had told Tyreese that it was her who killed Karen and David. He had seemed horrified, he'd seemed betrayed that it was someone that he knew who had done it. She had noticed his hand grip on the gun she'd given him and she had actually thought he was going to do it.

If it hadn't been for what they'd just gone through with Lizzie and Mika, maybe he might have. "He didn't. I gave him the chance to… But he didn't." Carol said. "We went through a lot together."

"You wanna talk about it?" Rick asked. Carol shook her head, which she was happy when Rick accepted. "Alright… You ever want to, you know where to find me." Rick hoped that she talked to him someday, he could tell something was eating at her. But if he knew one thing, it was not to push when a woman didn't want to talk about it. That got him in a lot of trouble with Lori before everything happened.

Carol smiled softly and looked up at him. "Thank you." She said. She was thankful for Rick, for having Rick back in her life. When she had approached them in the forest after saving their lives, she had been terrified. She didn't know how Rick was going to respond. She didn't know if he was going to be angry she was back. But when he smiled even at the sight of her, before he knew that it was her that had saved them, she knew that everything was alright. "I just feel so _lost _half the time. I don't know my place anymore." She looked away from Rick, taking a deep breath.

Rick turned to look at her and he cupped Carol's face, making sure she was looking at him. "Your place is with me. Us." Rick fumbled over the last part. "You belong with us, alright?" A stray tear fell from Carol's eye and he wiped it away from her skin. "I'm sorry." He mumbled as he pulled her into a hug. Carol's eyes shut, she was thankful for his hug. She kept her sobs contained, taking in a long breath.

So they stood there for several long minutes in a tight embrace, one that mimicked the ones they'd had over the years due to a loss. Noises brought them out of their embrace, Rick being the first to pull away from her. "Come on, lets go back." He said, pressing one hand to her back and holding the other out to lead her back to the church.

Carol frowned, reluctant to move and to return to the church. "Rick…" She said. Rick's assurance didn't make her feel any feel better, make her feel like she belonged.

He looked down at her and raised an eyebrow. "If I let you go right now and leave you to whatever shit storm is going to happen next, Daryl will probably put a bolt in my ass." He joked. Carol smiled to herself and rolled her eyes playfully. "And if I let you go now... I might lead us straight into another boxcar and you'll have to come bail us out."

Carol let out the loudest laugh that Rick had heard in a long time, especially from this small woman. He decided at that moment he'd do anything to hear it over and over again.


End file.
